


OfficeTale

by SomeDumbOstrich



Category: SkyMedia / The Offices (Youtube), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: EXP and LOVE (Undertale), Except LOVE is replaced with KNOWLEDGE, Gen, Hiatus, Hotland (Undertale), Inspired By Undertale, More tags might be added, Occasional swearing, POV First Person, SkyMedia / The Offices, The Ruins (Undertale), Undertale AU, Waterfall (Undertale), YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 13,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7544182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeDumbOstrich/pseuds/SomeDumbOstrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: Humans and Monsters.<br/>One day, war broke out between the two races.<br/>After a long battle, the Humans were victorious.<br/>Seven of their finest wizards attempted to seal the Monsters underground.<br/>But a small group of Humans were kind, and wanted justice.<br/>In an attempt at peace, they quickly defended the Monsters, giving multiple reasons why the Monsters should stay above the surface.<br/>Ignoring them, the Human wizards sealed the small, kind Human group underground along with the Monsters.<br/>The Monsters thanked the Human protectors, and promised to treat them as Monsters, completely forgetting the Human group had 5 of the 7 much needed Human SOULs to break the barrier.<br/>With their main workers gone, the rest of SkyMedia disbanded.<br/>Years later, a child jumped into the underground.</p><p>. . .</p><p>. . .</p><p>(The Youtubers personalities are different in this than they are in real life. I would say that it's because that they would change from the war, but it's really because I'm pretty bad at writing accurate personalities.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Your Pal Weenie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small human falls underground, and encounters a flower.

I quickly get up, my head pounding. I should have listened to my parents. They warned me to not climb Mt. Ebott. But the rumors are ridiculous. Monsters living underground!? It's just not possible. I quickly pick up my slightly cracked glasses, and put them on. _'They should be fine, for now,'_ I think.  
I rush through the long, dark hallway where I am met by huge, red doors. There, I am met by a grey flower with a derpy face.  
"Howdy! My name is Weenie_Butt. Weenie_Butt the flower!" The small flower says, introducing himself in the voice of a grown man.  


"Welcome to the underground! You're new here, aren't you? Therefore, you must need to know how things work around here!"

The room washes in black, Weenie_Butt and myself turning black and white, like looking at a picture from the 70's. A small, purple heart appears in a 2D box in front of me, and I grow stiff. I notice that I am able to move the heart by trying to move in the respective directions.  
Five cone-shaped things, all white, appear above the box. "That heart is your SOUL, the very culmi... cul-mi-na... uhg..." He says, struggling to pronounce some big and complicated word. "That heart is your SOUL, the very..." He tries again, but cannot seem to pronounce the word. "Basically, without it you die." He continues, giving up on trying to pronounce the word. "It starts of weak, but can get strong if you gain KN. What's KN, you ask? Why, all-powerful KNOWLEDGE, of course! You want some, don't you?" He asks, and I suspiciously shake my head. "Of COURSE you do!" He says, ignoring me. "Down here, KNOWLEDGE is shared through tiny, little, 'friendly-ness narwhal horns'!" He says, whispering to himself something about 'coming up with a better name'.  
"Move around, get as many as you can!"  
I sigh, and the horns quickly move toward me. I decide to run into them.

As soon as I do, A sharp pain runs throughout my body. A small, normally yellow bar below the box, labelled HP, turns mostly red, keeping a small sliver of yellow, and the '20/20' next to it soon turns into '1/20'. Weenie's derpy face turns into a satanic smile, his eyes washing away of most emotion, the only emotion left being greed.

"You IDIOT. Down here, it's kill or BE killed! Who would pass up an opportunity like this, able to steal a SOUL from a human that didn't even BOTHER to protect the monsters!?" My soul is surrounded by the horns, all pointing down towards me. "D I E ," Weenie booms, as the narwhal horns close in to my helpless soul. The only thing I can think is _'I can't believe I'm about to be killed by a flower' ___.


	2. Youtube Sensation RedVacktor & Ruins of Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human is taken by another human and taught about the worth of puzzles in the Ruins.

I try to figure out some form of escape. But there is no use. The horns may be cone-shaped, but they all connect at the end. And the heart refuses to move forward or backward, only left, right, up, and down. I brace myself for my oncoming death.

Then the horns suddenly disappear, my HP bar filling up.

"Wh... what the FUCK!?" Weenie screams, frustrated. Just then, a small apple appears, flying at Weenie and knocking him out of sight. A large man in a weird dino suit walks up. "What a terrible creature, torturing such an innocent child," The man says. "Don't worry, child, I am Red, caretaker of the ruins. A human hasn't fallen down in a long time," He says. "Maybe It's because they are too SCARED! hahUA! hahUA!" He says in a crazy voice, obviously trying to be funny. I just stare at him. He clears his throat. "Anyway... Let me guide you through this place..." He says, rushing off to avoid any further awkwardness.

In the ruins, the walls were all a perfect shade of red. One bright enough to not look like black, but dark enough to not hurt one's eyes when looked at. I notice a small, pink, ball-shaped object floating in a pile of leaves. I decide to touch it, hoping to not implode. A robotic voice pipes up, startling me. "The shadow of the ruins looms above, filling you with perseverance. HP fully restored." It says. Then, A large, black screen appears in front of me. All my information is at the top, including how many seconds I've been down here, my name, and my KN. I hit a button on it that says 'Save', and all the text goes yellow and the screen disappears. Gripping a book I brought when I fell, I hop up the stairs and walk through the black doorway in the middle of the wall. Red was standing there, waiting. "The ruins are filled with puzzles, ancient fusions between switches and doors," Red explains, stepping on 4 switches on the floor while leaving 2 up. "Please get used to them."

He proceeds through the now open doorway, and I follow. There is the simplest puzzle in the universe, and Red makes me solve it be flipping a switch with about a million arrows pointing to it. There is a switch next to it, filled with dry peanut butter. It doesn't even budge, it just breaks off. The robotic voice talks again. "Peanut Switch - 3 ATK. If you threaten a monster with some peanut butter, it may lower its HP for you," it states. I walk through the next door. "Since you're an untrusted human in the underground, monsters may attack you. When this happens, strike up a conversation with it! Practice talking to the dummy," Red says. I groan, knowing that's ridiculous. I walk up to the dummy. The room washes in black and white, like before. "Hello, dummy...?" I say. The battle quickly ends, and Red seems happy with me. He leaves the room, and I follow.


	3. Enemy Approaching & Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our protagonist finds their way home. Well, kind of.

In the next room, there's a strange, lighter path on the ground:  
...>==========V  
...||.....>===V........||  
...||.....||........||........>✓  
...^==||===<  
>===^  
Confused, I start to follow where Red went, only to hear a strange snarl behind me. Turning around, I see the '✓' peel itself from off the ground, run at me, and attack.  
  
In the battle void, the attacker in front of me is just a tiny, barely noticeable ✓.  
I select ACT, and the options in front of me are Check, Correct, and Incorrect.  
I select Check.  
"✓ - 3 ATK 4 DEF - despite their name and appearance, they are extremely pessimistic."  
To emphasize the voice's point, ✓ screams "NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS RIGHT!"  
A circle of X's appear around my SOUL in the battle box, while ✓'s slowly shoot at my SOUL, but they are easily dodged.  
I pick ACT, then Correct.  
"You tell ✓ that they are correct; not even their previous statement is right."  
"Wait a minute..." ✓ says, "If the statement is correct, and nothing in the world is right, that means that not even my statement is right! But if my statement isn't right, that means that EVERYTHING in the world is right, including my statement. But that means..."  
✓ doesn't even bother attacking me; He just skips his turn.  
"✓ is contemplating their view of the world."  
I pick MERCY, then Spare, and the battle ends.  
  
Outside of the battle void, I notice a stone sign on the wall that says "the room to the left is the correct answer to the room on the right".  
"Oh dear..." Red says, "The spikes are... deactivated?"  
The spikes in the spike puzzle were weighed back down into the floor; they are covered in about a million white X's.  
Well. Looks like ✓ helped out a little bit.  
"Um..." Red says, "L-let's just keep moving, then?"  
  
In the next area, there's an extremely long hallway. Um. That's it.  
"You have done great thus far, child," Red says, "But I must test your independence."  
"Walk to the end of this hallway."  
Red runs off, across the room, and... hides behind a pillar?  
I successfully make it to the end of the hallway, and Red pops out from behind the pillar. "Good job! Now just stand still. I assume that you already own a cell phone, so here's my **phone number**."  
Red hands me his phone number on a piece of paper. "Now, call if you need anything, but don't leave the room, alright? I have to do some errands." Red runs off, presumably toward his house.  
Ignoring his orders to stay put, I leave the room. I immediately get a call from Red. "Did you just leave the room!?" He asks. "Uhm, n-no..." I answer. "Good..." He says, suspicious.

Then he hangs up.  
I quickly get advice from a Froggit. "Ribbit, ribbit..." It starts.

(Excuse me, human. I have some advice for you about battling monsters.)  
(When a monster does not what to fight, it's name will turn yellow. When this happens, it will lower it's defenses for one of two reasons.)  
(It either wants to run away, scared, or it trusts you.)  
(When this happens, please... use some mercy, human)  
Ribbit.

I notice a pink ball in the leaves. The voice basically tells me I'm filled with perseverance, and I save. Then I leave the room.

After a million easy puzzles and battles, a sassy rock, and Red asking me weather I like my apples carameled or not, I finally come to a crossroads. I decide to go up. There, I am met by a huge, brown tree with no leaves. Red runs by it, and takes out his phone. My phone rings in the process. He seems to hear it, because he looks up, surprised that I'm here. "Oh god, how did you get here? Damnit, you're hurt! Don't worry, I'll prolly heal you. I shouldn't have just left you there. Anyway, come inside!" He says, rushing in. I follow him, curious.

Inside, there is a slightly brighter red room, and red was standing there, waiting. "This way!" He says. I follow him right.

There is a long hallway, with three doors on the left. He shows me to my room, then he smells something burning and leaves. Curious and tired, I enter my room.

My room is a dark shade of blue, with a box full of shoes, a box full of toys, and a drawing of a grey flower. I hop on the small, soft bed in the corner.

  
_Asriel... wake up! You are the future for humans and monsters. You must persevere!_  
  
  
I wake up. How long was I sleeping? I don't know. _"It was all a dream,"_ I think. _"I dreamt there were youtubers and monsters living under Mt. Ebott. I'll wake up in my room, living my boring life, going to school."_ Then I open my eyes. Nope, it was all real. Weenie_Butt, the Froggit. Red. All real.

I get up, noticing a wrapped object on the ground. I unwrap it, the robotic voice describing the object. "Half-carameled apple. Heals HP. An apple covered halfway with caramel."  
A put the apple in my pocket. I walk out into the hallway, and go right. In the living room, I see Red reading a book, _How to train your non-existent, crazy, murderous apple_. I didn't even know monsters made those types of books.

Red babbles on to me about random crap that I don't care about. I don't listen to him.  
"Oh, what did you want?" He asks. I ask how to leave the ruins and go home. "Uhm... I have to do something. Stay put and don't move. Don't even BREATHE," He says. Then he thinks for a second. "Ok, maybe you can breath. But REALLY SLOWLY." He then proceeds down a long stairwell. I decide to follow.


	4. Applemash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael blocks your path!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that RedVacktor's real name is Michael? It's true, it says so right here: http://www.famousbirthdays.com/people/michael-steves.html

"You want to know how to return 'home,' correct?" Red asks, turning serious. "I can't let you. No more questions. Go upstairs." He says. Ignoring him, I follow. "You ignorant child. If I let you pass, He... _Barney_... will kill you. Ahead lies the end to the ruins. I am going to destroy it. Now, for the last time..."

" _ **Go. To. Your. Room.**_ "

I follow him to the exit.

"Fine. You want to return home so badly? You are just like Frisk and the rest of the humans. Prove to me you are strong enough to survive!" The room quickly washes in black and white, the all-too-familiar box, buttons, and HP bar appearing. Red appears behind the box.

I immediately press [ACT], then {Check}. The familiar voice eagerly pipes up again. 

"Red - ATK 80 DEF 80. YouTube Sensation."

I sigh. This was going to be a long battle.

Inside the box, my SOUL had to avoid small apples, that were swishing back and forth in almost unison.

On my next turn, I click [ACT], and {Talk}. The robotic voice gets annoyed.

"Ironically, talking does not seem to be the solution to this fight."

Damn. Turn wasted.

The apples were now being... pooped out by goats that walked in half-circles on the top and bottom of the box. The apples flung at my SOUL, and I quickly made it avoid them.

Unable to do anything, I click [MERCY], {Spare}.

"...? What are you doing?" Red asks, confused. I easily avoid apples that seemed to enjoy bouncing off of each other at certain points, all collecting at the bottom of the box. I spare Red again. "Stop that!" Red says. Goat poop apples again, this time only one goat at the bottom of the box. I spare again.

"Fight or run away!"

Swishy apples.

Spare.

"What are you proving this way?"

Single goat poop.

Spare. 

"Stop it." 

Double goat poop. 

Spare.

This time, Red says nothing, and seems to avoid hurting my SOUL. Good thing too, because I was at 2 health.

Spare.

"I know you want to go home, but... You can be happy here! We haven't seen a new face in awhile, it's all the same people, over and over. Can you... Maybe stay?" Red asks, a hint of hopefulness in his voice.

Spare.

"No, I understand. It can get really boring here, and, as I've said, it always feels like the same day, over and over. You can go," Red says, dissapointed.

The battle ends.


	5. adam. & NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weenie proves himself to be more important to the story than our protagonist realized, and two more humans are found outside of the Ruins.

"If you must leave, don't let me stop you, child," Red states. "But if you do, please... don't come back. I'm sorry. I'll get out of your way," Red says. He then rushes back out of the room towards Home, without a second glance. I look back at him, worried, then walk through the ruins doors, and across the excessively long hallway.

In the next room, I find Weenie_Butt waiting for me.

"Clever. Very clever," He says. "You think your pretty awesome, dontcha? In this world, it's kill or be killed. So you were able to play by your own rules."  
**"You SPARED the life of a SINGLE PERSON."**  
He proceeds to do his signature laugh. "I bet you feel really great," He adds. "You didn't kill anybody THIS time around. But what would you do if you met a relentless murderer?"

**"You would DIE, over and over, until you just _g i v e u p ._ At least then, I'd gain back the power to RESET."**

"What would you do then? Would you KILL out of rage? Or would you, as I predict, give up, and let ME have the power to RESET!?"  
"I am the ruler of this world's timeline. Don't worry, idiot, my plan isn't genocide, this is MUCH more interesting."  
He proceeds to do not his usual giggle, but a menacing laugh that I didn't expect. Well, as menacing you can get for a flower.

Outside of the ruins, I end up in a forest, the stereotypical dark, creepy forest that you would find in slender fan-games. I walk foreword, slowly and cautiously. I pass over a large twig. a few paces more, and I hear an echoing snap. I turn around. The twig is broken, but nothing else. I continue, and hear footsteps behind me. They suddenly stop. I reach a bridge, and suddenly, a loud voice right behind me screams something:  
"OOGALABOOGALA!"  
I jump, startled. I turn around to see a grown man with a beard, wearing a Minecraft t-shirt, some blue jeans, and some sneakers. I don't understand why, because it's snowing. He's laughing his head off. As soon as he's calmed down, he speaks.  
"that never gets old, no matter what anyone else says. anyway, i mayaswell introduce myself. i'm adam. but you can call me sky if you'd like," Adam says."i'm supposed to be watching for humans right now, but i don't care about capturing anyone. now my friend max... he's a human-hunting **fanatic**. well, for fallen humans atleast. actually, i think he's coming this way."  
"quick, go through this gate thingamajig. yeah, the bars are so wide the only thing they could stop would be a really fat pig."  
I walk through, and behind some lamp like Adam told me to do. Just then, I hear Max run up, wearing a red jacket over a simple dark red and yellow striped shirt, and some sweatpants with sneakers.  


"'sup, max?" Adam says.  
"YOU KNOW WHAT'S 'SUP', ADAM!" Max says. "IT'S BEEN 14 DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T MODIFIED YOUR FRICKIN PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND PLAYING NINTENDO!"  
"i'm not," Adam argues. "i'm looking at this lamp. wanna see?"  
"I HAVE NO TIME!" Max screams. "WHAT IF A **HUMAN** COMES THROUGH HERE!?"  
"humans come through here all the time," Adam interrupts.  
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Max argues. "I MUST BE THE ONE TO CAPTURE A HUMAN SOUL! THEN MAYBE I'LL BE ALLOWED TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!"  
"maybe this lamp will help you."  
"ADAM YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU ALWAYS JUST SIT AROUND DOING NOTHING PRODUCTIVE! YOU GET LAZIER EVERY DAY!"  
"sheesh, don't be such a..."  
_"mad max."_  
Ba dum, cshhhhh.  
"ADAM!"  
"oh, come on, that was good!"  
"THAT WAS TERRIBLE, ADAM, AND YOU KNOW IT!" Max sighs. "WHY DOES IT TAKE SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME SIMPLE RECOGNITION AROUND HERE!?"  
"wow, seems like you're being a _tad bad, max,_ "  
Ba dum, cshhhh.  
"ADAM! UGH, I'LL WORK ON MY PUZZLES. AS FOR YOUR WORK?? DON'T BE SO... _MAD_ AM, ABOUT IT! NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" Max laughs, leaving.  


"ok, come out now," Adam says to me.  
I start to leave towards snowdin, but Adam inturrupts me. "actually, wait, can ya do me a favor? i've been thinking. max hasn't been able to capture a human lately. he keeps threatening to draw a mustache on me and pass me off as a captured human. so, maybe seeing you might just make him happy. don't worry, he won't kill ya. prolly not, anyway. thanks a gazillion. i'll be up ahead," Adam says, and I try to hold back a laugh as he goes the wrong way, towards the ruins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Max's "Nyeh Heh Heh" would be "NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE" simply because during his Undertale playthrough he kept making Papyrus laugh like that.


	6. Snowdin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam seems mysterious.

I walk foreword, towards a save point. "The convenience of that lamp still fills you with perseverance," the voice reads reads, "HP fully restored."

I notice a strange box on the ground. It is like a chest from minecraft, only darker and less... Boxy.  
There is no sign anywhere telling me what it is, so I open it. Inside, there's a strange glove. I pick it up.  
"Tough Glove - 5 ATK. For five-fingered Monsters, and occasionally Humans," the robotic voice says.  
I put it on my hand, and put my Peanut Switch inside the box.  
In the next area, there is Max and... Adam? But he walked the wrong way? Either way, they are deep in conversation. Curious, I try to get close enough to hear.

"SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE..." Max was saying. Then, he looks my way, and I freeze.

He looks back to Adam. Then back at me. Then back to Adam. Pretty soon, both Max AND Adam are spinning around in circles at (what seems to be) the speed of light.

After a minute or two of endless spinning, Max looks back at me, then Adam.

"OH MY GOD!" Max screams. "IS THAT... AN UNWORTHY HUMAN!?"  
"actually, i think that's an anime doll."

I look behind me, and sure enough, there's an anime doll right there.

"OH."

...awkward silence...

"hey, what's that in front of the doll?"  
"OH MY GOD!" Max screams, finally noticing my presence. He reduced his volume to a small whisper. "(IS... IS THAT A HUMAN?)" "(yes)" "OH MY GOD!" Max clears his throat. "HUMAN! YOU WILL NOT PASS THIS AREA! YOU MUST BE CAPTURED, AND SENT TO THE CAPITAL! MAYBE THEN, I'LL GET TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PREPARE FORE PUZZLES! AND... OTHER... SORTS OF FUN ACTIVITIES. NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" Max laughs at the end of his speech, running off. "that went well," Adam says. "don't worry, his traps aren't dangerous. if you know how to do them." Adam walks past me. I look back at him to ask him what he means, but he's just not there.

I walk until I somehow end up at a RG station. "Absolutely NO MOVING!" A sign reads. Ignoring it, I walk past a sentry station. A large dog pops up.


	7. Lack of Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dog teaches our protagonist about blue attacks.

"Did something move?" The dog says. "Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things." I stay still, pretending to be invisible. "If something WAS moving, for example, a human..." The strange dog continues.  
"I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!"

The area washes in black and white, indicating a battle. The usual stuff pop up, and the thin dog is behind the box. I hit [ACT], and then {Check}.

"Doggo - 13 ATK 7 DEF - Easily exited by movement. Hobbies include: squirrels."

"Don't move an inch!" Doggo says. He then does an unavoidable blue, sword-shaped attack.  
I instinctively panic. I move my soul to the back of the box, seeing if it will disappear. Instead, it just slides harmlessly over my soul.  
I get confused. On my turn, I click [ACT], then {Pet}. Doggo proceeds to say "WHAT!? I've been PET!" and all during his turn he says stuff like "Pet", "Pat", and "Pot".  
When he does his blue attack, I run my soul towards the sword, thinking I'm safe. But instead of the blue sword passing harmlessly through my soul, I feel a sharp pain run through my body, the attack disappearing and my HP going down.  
Confused, I just simply [SPARE] Doggo. on my next turn.

"I've been p-pet... by something that isn't m-m-m-moving..." Doggo states, confused. "I need some treats for this." He slowly descends into his sentry.


	8. Dog Shenannigans and the Glass Maze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our protagonist pets a dog, and beats a maze to the ground. Literally. Well, maybe not 'beats'...

As I walk through to the next area, I am surprised and confused to see Adam standing there. He didn't even pass me. He was just there.

"hey, here's something important to remember. if you see a blue-" Adam stops, examining my face.  
"nevermind. you prolly already know what a blue attack is." Adam looks past me, into the distance, like this isn't his first time explaining this.

Good talk.

I'm walking past him (and sliding past a strange sign in a small field of ice), when my purple SOUL lights up, and my surroundings are shrouded in that familiar black void. Across from me, my "opponent" is a dog, about my size, in silver armor and wielding a sword and shield.  
I press [ACT] --> Lesser Dog --> {Check}

The familiar robotic voice in my head perks up. "Lesser dog. ATK 12, DEF 2. Wields a stone dogger made of pomer-granite, 

A small, white dog bounds it's way towards my soul. It leaps towards it, only to miss as my soul dodges by moving below.

[ACT] --> Lesser Dog --> {Pet}

Lesser Dog's head perks up. It seems that it's neck has risen a small bit.

**Endless hours later...**

My hand is cramping from pressing [ACT] too much. Lesser's head is far below the me, in the seemingly endless void below. I don't know why I exactly did this, but I just did. I finally press {SPARE}.

Back in the real world, I advance to the next stage.

I see Adam and Max, across from a large area that's strangely cleared out, a complex maze made out of glass in the middle. "ADAM!" Max says, "YOU'RE SO LAZY! YOU WERE ON THE COMPUTER ALL DAY YESTERDAY!" "we used to be gaming youtubers, max," Adam points out, "we were on the computers almost 24/7 on the surface." "EXCUSES!" Max yells. He then turns towards me. "AHA! THEY'VE ARRIVED!"  
"IN ORDER TO STOP YOU, ADAM AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE... QUITE FRUSTERATING."  
"FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS..."  
"A MAZE."  
**(Queue 'dun-dun-dun' sound effect.)**  
"EVERYONE HATES MAZES! THEY ARE SO IMPOSSIBLE, YOU CANNOT GET PAST ONE WITHOUT CHEATING! SOUND LIKE FUN? BECAUSE THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL HAVE... IS... QUITE MINIMAL, I THINK. OK, TRY THE MAZE! IF YOU DARE!!!"

I walk up to the maze, and poke it. As soon as my finger touched the glass, the maze immediately shattered, clearing a path for anyone who is wearing shoes. 

"YOU INTELLIGENT BASTARD! YOU AVOIDED THE WHOLE MAZE!" Max says, "THAT WAS... ACTUALLY... THE ONLY SOLUTION, I THINK. HOWEVER! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE SO FRAGILE! IT WAS DESIGNED BY ADAM! HE HASN'T SHOWED IT TO ANYONE YET! NOT EVEN ME! YOU WILL BE SO CONFUSED, YOU'LL JUST GIVE UP! NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!" He proceeds to jog away from Adam and me.  
"thanks for going along with this. max seems to be having fun." Adam says. "he's been going kinda crazy, being cut off from the rest of humanity for so long. in fact, he would have preferred to live with red, barney and..." his voice trails off for a second, a slight frown etching onto his face. "anyway," he continues, smiling again, "he would have preferred to live up in the main castle, closer to the barrier, with barney. but at the time, there weren't enough beds in there. nowadays, he's just accustomed to snowdin's climate." Nodding, I advance, following Max's trail of footprints.


	9. Impossible Puzzles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is still mysterious.

After buying a Nice Cream from a misunderstood vendor, almost falling for Adam's fried ice prank, and playing a surprisingly challenging snowball maze game, I finally get to Adam's puzzle. His puzzle is a blue stop sign with the words "do nut pass" sprayed along the top, above a large hole cut out of the middle of the sign. "HUMAN!" Max screams. "I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR..." Max stops, realizing there's just a sign. "ADAM! WHERE'S THE FUCKING PUZZLE!?" "trust me max, there's no way they can get past this one." I walk around the stop sign, only to have adam shove a donut in my face. "alright, now walk back," Adam says. I do as he says. "walk back over here," I do so, and he shoves another donut in my face. Adam's grin starts to grow. "ADAM... WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?" Max asks. Adam ignores him. "walk back, kid." I do so. "now come back over here." I do so. This time, he shoves a corn cob in my face. "congrats, you solved my impossible puzzle," Adam says.  
Then he walks past me, towards the snowball game.  
"HUMAN, I..." Max stutters, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS... UM... I NEED TO SIT DOWN... I'M CONFUSED..." Max walks away, presumably towards his house.

  
So after viewing frozen cheeseburgers from Max, completing two X-->O puzzles from Max (one of which was easily completed by flipping a hidden switch under a rock), and petting two married dogs, I get to Max and Adam's next main puzzle. The puzzle is a.. large hole in the ground? With a computer next to Max?  
"HUMAN!" Max waves, "YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS NEXT PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR GASTER, AND HIS SLIGHTLY LESS BRILLIANT (BUT STILL BRILLIANT) ASSISTANT, DOCTOR ALPHYS! EACH FLOATING SYMBOL HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION! A BOMB SYMBOL IS IMPASSIBLE; YOU CANNOT MOVE ON THEM. A HAND SYMBOL POINTING LEFT IS ELECTRIC; IT WILL GIVE YOU A HEARTY ZAP! A HAND SYMBOL POINTING UPWARDS IS AN ALARM TILE; WHEN YOU STEP ON IT, YOU WILL ENTER A FIGHT! A WAVING FLAG SYMBOL IS SLIPPERY; IT WILL MAKE YOU SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE, BUT WILL ALSO MAKE YOU SMELL LIKE CATNIP! A CROSS WITH A CIRCLE SYMBOL IS A WATER TILE! WALK ON IT IF YOU LIKE, BUT IF YOU SMELL LIKE CATNIP, THE CATFISH WILL BITE YOU! ALSO, IF A WATER TILE IS NEXT TO AN ELECTRIC TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU! A STILL FLAG SYMBOL IS FRUIT-SCENTED; IT WILL MAKE YOU SMELL LIKE FRUIT! CATFISH DO NOT LIKE THE SMELL OF FRUIT, SO STILL FLAGS AND CIRCLE-Y CROSSES ARE ALRIGHT! FINALLY, SKULL-AND-CROSSBONES SYMBOLS. DESPITE THEIR APPEARANCE, THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. WALK ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE. UNDERSTAND?" Unsure, I nod. "GREAT! ONE LAST THING YOU SHOULD KNOW: THIS PUZZLE IS ENTIRELY RANDOM. IT MAY BE IMPOSSIBLE, IT MAY BE JUST REALLY CHALLENGING! READY? I'M STARTING IT UP!" Max turns towards the computer, and types in a short line of code. The puzzle instantly flips through different symbols, getting faster...!  
...  
Each symbol...  
Is a skull-and-crossbones.  
Max spins right out of the puzzle area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, the "do nut pass" sign was supposed to say "do not pass", and the protagonist would just walk around the sign. I misspelled "not" by accident, but instead of fixing it, I took the opportunity.


	10. DogSong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bork.

"actually," Adam says, "those burgers from earlier were max's best, their only problem being they were left out in the cold too long. max just assumed that my puzzle wouldn't be so long and ridiculous," I stare at him for a second, assuming that He would explain his puzzle. When he doesn't, I just move on.  
I move through a hallway of snow dogs, all complete with snow doggers and snow armor, and get to the next puzzle.  
Another X-->O puzzle.  
But with ice.  
I step on the X in the lower left corner, and it turns into an O, but slides me to the next X, which turns onto an O. This process repeats, spinning me in a spiral, until all the Xs are Os. I then slide onto a button, and I slide onto a bridge, and I emerge on the other side.  
Dazed, I walk across to a field of snow poffs. I look at each of them, confused, until I get to a snow poff blocking the way. I start to step over it, but a dog emerges. The dog grows.  
It's a dog in shining armor. The room washes in black, turning me and Dog all white, and I instinctively press ACT, then CHECK.  
"Greater Dog - 15 ATK 8 DEF. It's so exited, it thinks fighting is just play."  
Of course.  
A blue spear flings at my purple SOUL. I stay still, but at the last second, the spear turns white, lowering my HP. Cheater.

...  
After a long while of petting, playing, drool, slobber, and napping, I finally get past Greater Dog. He jumps out of his armor, licks my face, then gets back in his armor, tail through the head hole, and leaves.


	11. The Gauntlet of Deadly Terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our protagonist learns a bit about Max before they enter Snowdin Town.

I walk across a long bridge, or what appears to be one; the bridge, and the chasm it crosses, seem to be painted on a series of flat rocks. There's still a protective fence, though.  
After a bit of walking, I notice Max and Adam on the other side of the bridge, with the bridge widening a few inches where i'm standing.  
"HUMAN!" Max states, "PREPARE FOR YOUR FINAL CHALLENGE! BEHOLD..."  
A layer of spears and thin, grey, stone-textured rectangles descend above the bridge. After a bit of searching, I find an ostrich tied to a rope hiding in the middle of the layer.  
"THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"  
"WHEN I SAY 'GO', IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! SPEARS WILL FALL! STONE WILL SWING! OSTRICHES WILL... OSTRICH! EACH PART WILL DEAL TO YOU 2 DAMAGE IF YOU'RE HIT! AND WORST OF ALL, YOU ONLY HAVE 30 SECONDS TO GET THROUGH!"  
**"OR ELSE..."**  
"uh, or else what?" Adam asks. Max starts to sweat.  
"UHM, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT THAT YET..." He says nervously.  
"dude, you can't have an awesome deadly puzzle of death that they have to complete in 30 seconds without planning what will happen if they run out of time!" Adam retorts.  
"YOU'RE RIGHT, ADAM! THAT'S COMPLETELY TRUE! AWAY IT GOES!" The GoDT ascends, and disappears into thin air. I hope the ostrich is okay.  
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, HUMAN!? THIS WAS ANOTHER VICTORY!"  
**"FOR ADAM!"**  
_"FOR ME!"_  
**_"FOR MONSTERKIND!"_**  
"NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"  
Max leaves the area, and Adam walks up to me.  
"kid, you're welcome. i just saved your ass. that device... it prolly would have killed you. i know what max would say, if he were in my position," All of sound seems to stop, except for Adam's terrible impression of Max.  
_"you would have died, over and over, until you just **g a v e u p .** at least then, there would only be one left to get rid of before the resets would **stop.** "_  
Sound starts back up again. "now, i have no clue what max means by 'resets'," Adam says, "but all i know is, he's recently been complaining about them, having nightmares about them. the best thing to do to help him... would prolly be to avoid fighting him."  
Adam's image flickers, and he's gone.  
I put my hand through the space Adam just was, before entering Snowdin.


	12. THE NEWEST MEMBER...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max blocks the way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snowdin Town in OfficeTale is pretty much the same as in UnderTale, so I didn't bother writing much about it. Also, 'THE NEWEST MEMBER...' is the Bonetrousle of OfficeTale.

After saving with perseverance, buying two cinnamon buns at a small shop, sleeping in the snowed inn, listening to a bear talk about how it petitioned to the king for striped shirts to be only for children only to have it's petition be immediately shot down, exploring the librarbee, and generally meeting the local residents, I slowly make my way through thick fog towards the next area, only to be stopped by a shadowed figure.  
"HUMAN..." Max says, "ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX THINGS. THINGS LIKE..."  
"TALKING FLOWERS..."  
"NIGHTMARES..."  
"DEAD COMRADS..."  
"THESE THINGS..."  
"THESE ARE THINGS THAT YOU MUST HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH ON THE SURFACE, IN ORDER TO WANT TO JUMP DOWN HERE!"  
"HUMAN, FOR YOUR SANITY, I, MAX, WILL BE YOUR..."  
I wait for the word 'friend'. But it never comes up.  
"NO," Max says, "THIS ISN'T RIGHT. I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND. I MUST CAPTURE YOU, AND TAKE YOU TO THE CAPITAL!"  
"MIGHTY! MAGNIFICENT! MEMORABLE!"  
"THAT'S MAX!"  
"THE NEWEST MEMBER..."  
"...OF THE ROYAL GUARD"  
My purple SOUL flashes in front of my chest, and I the room washes in the familiar black-and-white coating.

I immediately press ACT. There are three options: Check, Flirt, and Pun. I grin, and press 'pun'.  
"You call him 'Dad Max'," says the robotic voice, "he doesn't realize it's a pun, at first."  
"WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT..." Max starts, then he gets angry. "WHAT THE HELL!? NOT YOU TOO! ADAM'S RUBBING OFF ON YOU!"  
Max's attack is three short, white, rectangular stone blocks, all moving along the bottom of the box. Easily avoided.  
I press ACT, and FLIRT.  
"F-FLIRTING!?" Max stutters, "I-I'M SORRY, HUMAN, BUT... I MUST CAPTURE YOU! I CANNOT DATE YOU! PLUS... I'M MUCH OLDER THAN YOU."  He does the same attack as before.  
Unable to do much except for 'check', I press MERCY, and SPARE.  
"SO YOU WON'T FIGHT. WELL THEN! LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED 'ORANGE ATTACK'!"  
He sends orange stone rectangles at my SOUL. I discover that to avoid taking damage, I have to constantly move through the attacks. After the rectangles pass, My SOUL turns orange, and starts taking one damage per second, reducing me to half health before I find out that I have to constantly move my SOUL to avoid taking damage.  
"YOU'RE ORANGE NOW. THAT'S MY ATTACK! NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!"  
I instantly notice that, in the 'selection screen' as I call it, my SOUL doesn't constantly take damage.  
I press ACT, then Check.  
"Max - 15 ATK 20 DEF - Strives to be in the royal guard. Likes to say 'NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!'"  
"SEE IF YOU CAN DODGE **THIS** , HUMAN!" Max says.  
He sends thin stone walls at my SOUL, with gaps in between. It's kinda challenging since I have to move constantly, but I manage to dodge them all since all the gaps are on the same level.  
I spare. "NYEEHEEHEE!" Max says, "VERY GOOD, HUMAN! HAVE YOU DONE THIS BEFORE? I MEAN, FOUGHT ME BEFORE? I KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT GREY FLOWER'S TRUE RE-" He stops himself, conflicted. "UM, ANYWAY, NEXT ATTACK!"  
He sends the same attack as before, except the gaps are on different levels. I take some damage while trying to dodge.  
"HA! I'VE SUCCESSFULLY HIT YOU! ONCE YOU SEE MY BLUE ATTACK, HOWEVER, TAKING DAMAGE WILL BE UNAVOIDABLE!" He sends the same attack as before, except in between each white stone wall, there's a blue stone wall. Remembering my encounter with Doggo, I know that I need to stop moving in order to not take damage. However, with my orange SOUL, I have to keep moving in order to take damage. I decide to stop moving for a split second at each one.  
I consume a monster candy that I got in the Ruins, healing me up to 12.  
"YOU'RE GETTING CLEVER, HUMAN... TOO CLEVER! YOU SHOULD DIE NOW, WHILE YOU CAN, BEFORE YOU SEE MY _SPECIAL ATTACK ___!" My SOUL turns cyan, the box turning into a plus symbol, and the regular music seems to stop. Faint arrows appear on all sides of the symbol, the middle occupied by a dot. A theme plays in my mind, And I instantly recognize it. The music doesn't seem to be from this universe; it seems to be from a universe much more important than this one.  
The music is called, "memory".  
I instantly know what I need to do; on top of that, exclamation marks appeared over the wrong notes, which filled their spaces with orange after a couple seconds. But I know which notes to hit.  
Dot, up, right, dot, down, down, right. Dot, right, dot, down, down, right. Dot, up, right, dot, down, down, right. Dot, right, up, right, down, right.  
Once 'memory' stops, Max looks confused. "WHAT WHAS THAT?" Max asks, "I MEANT TO TURN YOUR SOUL INTO A SPIKEY BALL OF DEATH..."  
"...THAT WOULD MAKE BLUE ATTACKS DEAL MORE DAMAGE TO YOU!"  
"BUT NO MATTER! MY SPECIAL ATTACK WILL OCCUR SOON!"  
Max's battle theme seems to start back up again, and I spare him.  
"YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE IT, HUH? WELL, NO MATTER!" Max's right eye lights into a red fire, his left going dark.  
**"SURVIVE THIS, AND I'LL SHOW YOU MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"**  
He turns my SOUL orange again, and sends thin, blue stone walls at my soul, so that i have to stop, move, stop move, and so on. He turns my SOUL purple again, and slices the box in half, so that my SOUL is cut in half. He turns the left half orange and the right half blue, forcing the right half of my SOUL to play 'memory' with the right half of my body [authors note: arrow keys] and move the left half of my SOUL with the right half of my body [authors note: WASD]. To my right I hear memory, while to my left I hear Max's battle theme. To my orange half, he sends alternating blue and orange stone walls, making it very hard to dodge, especially with my blue half playing 'memory'. I take a ton of damage, and am reduced to 1/2 a point of health.  
Once the attack stops, the box and my SOUL repair themselves, my SOUL turning purple and going up to 18 health. "BEHOLD! MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" Max states. For a second, nothing happens, but then he summons two goat-skull shaped white attacks, which hover just outside of the box. Their mouths open, and beams of light shoot out, their positions making it impossible to dodge. I am reduced to 10 health.  
"I DON'T NEED JUST ANY PART OF YOU, HUMAN."  
"IN FACT, YOUR BODY IS EXPENDABLE."  
"WHAT I NEED..."  
  
**"IS A HUMAN _SOUL __!"_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the cyan SOUL playing 'memory', I based it off of the piano puzzle in waterfall in Undertale.


	13. ...OF THE ROYAL GUARD!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max is getting serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...OF THE ROYAL GUARD!" would be a metal cover of "THE NEWEST MEMBER...".

The room goes completely black for a second, and I'm worried that I somehow died. But the room lights back up, and Max had two new items: his right hand is now holding an orange spear, and his left hand is holding a blue spear. Both spears are slung over his shoulders. I press ACT, then Check.  
"Max - 20 ATK 20 DEF - Destined to be in the royal guard. His magic spears give him slightly more ATK."  
"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THIS FEELS, HUMAN," Max says, "WHEN YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, AND EVERYTHING CHANGES WHEN A MONSTER FALLS DOWN INTO THE UNDERGROUND. A MONSTER WHO, SOMEHOW, HAD AVOIDED THE WAR."  
He turns my SOUL orange, and makes the box much bigger. He summons thinner blasters, and I have to constantly move to dodge them. In the middle of the attack, the blasters turn blue and slightly bigger, and move faster, making me stop more often.  
I Spare him.  
"BUT LET'S NOT GET DEPRESSED. ONCE I STEAL YOUR SOUL, I WILL FINALLY JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!"  
Same attack as before.  
Spare. "BARNEY WILL BE ABLE TO BREAK THE BARRIER!"  
"AND IT WILL BE BECAUSE OF ME! NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"  
He turns shadow-ey, except for his spears, and my SOUL turns purple. For a second, a blue light goes over his right eye, than an orange one over his left. He swings his blue spear from his right, than his orange one from his left.  
Spare. "AND ALSO YOU, HUMAN! FOR YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME YOUR SOUL!"  
"IT WOULD BE A NEW HOLIDAY! HUMAN AND THE SEVEN MAX SOULS DAY!"  
"WAIT, THAT'S NOT RIGHT..."  
He splits the box, and forces my right soul half to play memory in cyan form, while my left dodged spears in normal form. not the blue-orange spears, but white spears rained down from different directions, and I have to dodge them.  
I'm at two health, so I heal.  
"ANYWAY! YOU!"  
"IN ORDER TO BE APART IN THE MAXSTER AND TWO FLOWERS DAY, YOU NEED TO GIVE ME YOUR SOUL."  
"AND IN ORDER FOR THAT TO HAPPEN, YOU NEED TO DIE!"  
Both sides turn orange, but the box doesn't repair itself. My right half has to dodge white stone walls with the holes in various places, while my left has to dodge the white spears.  
I Spare Max.  
"WAIT. WAS IT ONE FLOWER...?" Max says, confused, "I CAN'T REMEMBER."  
"ANYWAY, ENOUGH SHENNANIGANS! IT'S TIME TO SHOW YOU... MY SPECIAL-ER ATTACK!"  
"...IF YOU SURVIVE THIS NEXT TURN, OF COURSE."  
The box repairs, though Max keeps my SOUL orange. Stone blocks, not rectangles, fall from the top of the box. My soul turns purple, and I have to dodge random spears. In cyan form, i have to play a small part of memory, though really quickly: Dot, up, right, dot, down, down, right. My SOUL turns purple again, and I watch as Max's eyes light up in the different colors: blue, orange, orange, blue, blue, orange. I dodge his two different spears in that order.  
Max pants. "A-ALRIGHT! IT'S TIME FOR MY SPECIAL-ER ATTACK!"  
For a second, nothing happens. Then the music abruptly stops, and white ovals appear around my purple SOUL, with no escape. "THESE ARE FRIENDLINESS PELLETS," Max explains, "GOODBYE, HUMAN."  
The pellets slowly close in around my SOUL.


	14. Flowey the Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey's teaching you about green magic.

I try to figure out some form of escape, and since i'm at 1 HP, I have no chance of surviving if I get hit. But, like with Weenie, there just isn't one. Almost as the bullets are about to penetrate my SOUL, a voice speaks behind Max:  
"Are you sure you want to do that?"  
The bullets stop, and Max moves over, revealing the source of the voice. The flower, whos color I cannot determine because of the battle void's black-and-white effects, pops into the ground, and pops back up next to Max. I immediately think it's Weenie, but I quickly dismiss the thought. This flower's face isn't derpy like Weenie's; his eyes are two lines, and he has a friendly grin. "I mean, that **is** too easy. You'll defeat him, sure, but in a cheat-y way. And there's no **honor** in cheating!"  
Max sighs. "YOU'RE RIGHT, FLOWEY. I CAN'T DEFEAT THEM. NOT LIKE THIS!"  
"Also," Flowey says, "Friendliness Pellets are kind of, uh, **my** thing," Flowey says.  
"OH," Max replies, frowning, "RIGHT. I FORGOT."  
"I'll deal with the human. You can take a break," Flowey says with a wink.  
"I NEVER TAKE BREAKS!" Max boasts, "BUT... I _COULD_ USE A NAP," Max's spears disappear. He walks past me and vanishes, the familiar robotic voice saying "Max has left the battle".  
Flowey turns to me. "You're welcome, by the way, " he says, "Max tends to get carried away during battle. He's really tough! Though, he _is_ too trusting."  
"Anyway! You're going to enter waterfall now, right?" He asks me, "Undyne, the leader of the Royal Guard, is gonna try and kill you, and she's tougher than Max. She uses **green magic!** You should really know about it!  
"Lucky for you, I know how to use all kinds of magic, including SOUL manipulation! Ready? Here we go!"  
On my next turn, I click ACT, then Check.  
" Flowey - 4 ATK 2 DEF - A kind and caring flower."  
"By now, you prolly know that that heart is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being. Unlike that other flower, I'm not going to try and trick you about EXP and KN."  
"KNOWLEDGE is bad. EXP is bad. The more EXP and KN you gain, the more you'll want to hurt others. But enough of that! I'm supposed to teach you about green magic!"  
"There are two kinds of green magic," Flowey explains, "Healing magic, and green SOUL magic."  
8 green friendliness pellets appear around my SOUL. "Healing magic obviously heals you during battle! Monsters don't like killing other monsters, so that's why this exists. But it works on humans as well!"  
"Each green attack heals you for 2 HP. Go around! Collect all the pellets!" I move my purple SOUL towards a pellet, and the pellet disappears on contact, my HP increasing to 3. I breath a sigh of relief. I quickly collect all the pellets, increasing my HP to 17.  
"Good!" Flowey exclaims, "Now, onto green SOUL magic!"  
My SOUL turns green, the box closing in, and a blue barrier appears above my SOUL. "When your SOUL is green, you won't be able to run away, and you won't be able to move your SOUL. But! You have that shield that you can move! Here, practice on these friendliness pellets."  
Three pellets come down from the top of the box, and I move the shield so that it faces up. The pellets _ding_ and disappear on contact with the shield.  
"Good job!" Flowey says, "You're a natural at this!"  
The battle void fades, and I'm standing in front of Flowey. Since I'm out of the black-and-white effects of the battle void, I now see that Flowey's petals are yellow, not grey. "Green SOUL magic is the green magic that Undyne uses," Flowey explains, "She's not really good at healing others."  
"One time," Flowey says, "There was a nice human, like you, but with a red SOUL instead of a purple one. Their name was Frisk."  
"One day, after they befriended everyone, they realized that they had to fight Barney. Barney's usually a nice guy, but..."  
"...He does what he has to do."  
"Ignoring his subject's wishes, he almost killed Frisk. Undyne screamed at him, and, being the only other monster around at the time, she attempted to heal Frisk."  
Flowey frowns, and closes his eyes. "But she didn't know how to use healing magic; she's a warrior, not a healer. She..."  
". . ."  
"I... think you understand."  
"So the moral of the story," Flowey opens his eyes and smiles again, "Don't let Undyne try and heal you. She'll only make it worse."  
"I've been teaching her, but she doesn't really understand."  
"Anyway! I'll help you along your journey. I'll burrow along behind you, and aid you during battle when things look grim."  
Flowey pops back into the ground, and pops back up beside me. "Let's go!"  
With Flowey at my side, I enter Waterfall.


	15. Adam's and Max's House (with a Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our protagonist and Flowey go to Adam's house, with a Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt on the wall - buy one today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sky doesn't sponsor me i swear

In Waterfall, there's a guy obsessed with echo flowers: "This is an Echo Flower. It repeats the last word it heard, over and over... Neat, huh?" The echo flower repeats the last word it heard, naturally. It just stands there, repeating "huh?" over and over again.  
I also saw that strange Monster Kid again: "Yo, you're going into Waterfall too, right? Awesome! Undyne's the best!" (the echo flower now starts repeating "best" over and over again. I think you get the idea.)  
Flowey pops up to say something to the Kid, but thinks better of it and goes back underground. MK seems to be oblivious to Undyne's true personality.  
There's also Adam in a sentry station: "before you two enter waterfall," Adam says, leaning back in his chair, "wanna hang out over at my place?" Flowey pops up, and nods at me. I say "yes" to Adam. "cool," Adam says, "i know i'm supposed to be workin' right now, but i've got a fail-proof master plan. nobody will ever notice the difference." Adam gets out of his seat...  
and places a cardboard cut-out of himself in the seat in his place.  
On closer inspection, it's actually a cardboard cut-out of Max with Adam's face.  
Why?  
I look around back. Remember that strange Ostrich that was hanging in the Gauntlet of Deadly Terror? Yea. It's hiding behind the cut-out. The Ostrich gives me a smile.  
"follow me," Adam says, "i know a shortcut." I grab Adam's hand, and my vision goes black. My body feels like it's being squeezed on all sides straight into a tiny, scalding hot, metal milk jug filled with lava, ticks, and poisonous snakes with a bad habit of biting my privates.  
Actually, that's just putting it lightly.  
Then, as suddenly as the feeling came, it stopped, and I sigh at the feeling of Snowdin Town's cold snow.  
"you're still silent?" Adam asks, "wow. most people are screaming and weeping after their first twenty teleports. myself included. but once ya get used to the feeling, it makes life a whole lot easier."  
"anyway, this is my house. come in, grab a drink, and meet me when you're ready to discuss a hangout contract." I look at him strangely. "what?" Adam asks, "i can't just abandon my post without discussing a contract."  
As I enter his house, Adam teleports into his room, but he peeks his head out of his bedroom door. "oh, by the way," he says, grinning strangely, "i was kidding about the contract." He pops his face back in his room and closes his door.  
Adam's face is very punchable.  
Then I remember the strange, sentient Ostrich. and I get the feeling I shouldn't be violent for the time being.  
Adam's face is safe, for now.  
I look around Adam's - and I assume Max's - house.  
It's a simple two-story house, with a balcony on the second floor overlooking the first floor. Adam's and Max's rooms are on the second floor, naturally, with a Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt hung up in between - buy one today. https://teespring.com/budderthrone?tsmac=store&tsmic=skyarmy#pid=345&cid=6354&sid=front  
Advertising other people's products without them knowing is fun.  
Anyway, ignoring the Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt (which you should totally buy), I walk into the kitchen. It's a normal kitchen; a refrigerator the size of a sink cabinet, a sink with a cabinet the size of a refrigerator, a trashcan the size of a stove and/or a dishwasher, a stove and a dishwasher the size of trashcans... nothing out of the ordinary.  
Besides the Ostrich inside of the cabinet. Luckily it's wearing its Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt, or else it would have been cold in that cabinet. With the Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt, you don't ever have to feel cold again.  
I'm done advertising, I swear.  
As I walk out of the kitchen, I silently glance at the Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt hung up on the second floor wall, but I don't consider stealing it. After all, it's only $29.99; it's easily affordable to the average citizen.  
Ok, **now** I'm done.  
I notice the table beside me; on it, there's a single rock covered in black-and-yellow sprinkles. Guess what else is colored black-and-yellow?  
That's right. The Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt.  
Now I'm done.  
I walk over to the television, and I turn it on. Oh! There's a commercial playing.  
A COMMERCIAL FOR THE HANES UNISEX CREWNECK SKYARMY BUDDER THRONE SWEATSHIRT! IT HAS ALL NEW FEATURES THAT YOU WON'T FIND IN ANY OTHER SWEATSHIRT, SUCH AS-  
I cough.  
Don't trust my word anymore.  
After (reluctantly) turning off the television playing the commercial for the Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt, I sit on the couch, and I feel a lump between the cushions. I pull out the object.  
What the hell!? Who would waste a perfectly good Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt like this by throwing it in between the couch cushions!? Oh well. It **is** only $29.99. Pretty cheap.  
I walk over to a book on the square coffee table. It's a joke book. I look inside... what's this? You'd expect a quantum physics book inside...  
BUT NO! IT'S A HANES UNISEX CREWNECK SKYARMY BUDDER THRONE SWEATSHIRT!  
What's this inside of it?  
IT'S ANOTHER HANES UNISEX CREWNECK SKYARMY BUDDER THRONE SWEATSHIRT! TWO SHIRTS IN ONE! WHAT A GREAT DEAL!  
...  
Anyway...  
I put the shirts inside of the joke book, and close it. I walk up the stairs, past the Hanes Unisex Crewneck SkyArmy Budder Throne Sweatshirt (which is only $29.99, by the way), and I knock on Adam's door.  
Adam opens the door. Looks like he changed his shirt.  
Into what, exactly?  
A simple black-and-white striped T-shirt.  
. . .  
. . .  
. . .  
JUST KIDDING! HE HAD CHANGED INTO A HANES UNISEX CREWNECK SKYARMY BUDDER THRONE SWEATSHIRT!  
"heya, kid," Adam says, "did ya see that cool hanes unisex crewneck skyarmy budder throne sweatshirt on the wall? you should buy one. it's only $29.99."  
"anyway, you can come in."  
I enter Adam's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to buy one. https://teespring.com/budderthrone?tsmac=store&tsmic=skyarmy#pid=345&cid=6354&sid=front


	16. Adam's Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our protagonist hangs out with Adam. Flowey stays back, because he cannot reach the second floor.

Adam's room is surprisingly clean. There's a simple desk for his workspace in the corner, with a laptop on top of it. He has a racecar bed, "because it's cool", he claims. He has a self-sustaining interdimensional tornado instead of a trash can; throw too much trash in it, and you have a small chance of angering the spirits of the third dimension. "it's incredibly rare though," Adam says, "it's only happened to me a couple of times in the past few months."  
"there are a few nice ones though, such as their george washington."  
"you just wanna be careful if you anger their adolf hitler. i don't speak german, but i think he was some terrorist in the third dimension."  
After exploring Adam's room, Adam says, "so, now that you're done explorin'... wanna hang out?" Naturally, I say yes.  
"cool. i've, uh, never actually hung out properly before... so, where do you wanna hang out?"  
I think up four options: Hotland, the Garbage Dump, Max's Room, and Grillby's.  
I suggest Hotland.  
"actually, i wouldn't recommend hotland. alphys and gaster are nice and all..."  
"but you don't wanna meet sans."  
I ask him about Sans.  
"huh? you wanna know more about sans?" Adam asks, "well, alright. i'll tell ya."  
"sans is a 10-year-old, about your age, from the looks of it, and he's a skeleton monster. he, well... kinda has a thing against humans. i don't actually know why. i've never asked him, because he's a pretty hotheaded kid. his younger bro papyrus is nicer, though."  
I suggest the Garbage Dump.  
"kid, the garbage dump is in waterfall. and if undyne finds out i've been hanging out with a human instead of fightin' them... she's gonna hate me," Adam says, "sorry, but i'd rather not have undyne hate me. she might try to heal me, if ya know what i mean," Adam winks.  
I suggest Max's Room.  
"max doesn't allow **anyone** inside his room, besides his close friends, like me, barney, ro-" Adam stops himself, but the name awkwardly hangs in the air.  
_Ross. ___  
Come to think of it, I'm kind of curious about what happened to Ross; but I better not ask.  
"a-anyway, don't go into max's room without his permission."  
I suggest Grillby's.  
Adam smiles, happy to be off of the topic of Ross. "grillby's, eh? alright. let's go there. c'mon, grab my hand. it'll be quick."  
I call to Flowey to meet us outside of Grillby's, and, grabbing Adam's hand, I brace myself to teleport.


	17. Internal Diologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We go back in time a tiny bit, to when our protagonist walked into Adam's room and left Flowey "alone".

_**Flowey's POV**_  
  
The kid finally stopped their ad campaign and walked into Adam's room. I'm finally alone with my thoughts.  
_Well, as alone as we can be, considering our condition._  
Ah. I almost forgot about you.  
_It's about time for my turn, Asriel. I'm bored of you're kindness._  
I told you to stop calling me that! And I'm going to hold on as long as I can this time; I don't exactly trust you.  
_And rightfully so. I_ did _cause the deaths of a lot of people before the humans fell. ___  
In fact, I think that's the first human you greeted, isn't it?  
_Shut up. I just want to kill that idiot, take their SOUL, and become a_ god _. After that, not even you will stand in my way, Asriel. You will achieve your true form as well, but_ I'll _be the one with the SOUL. Just you wait; I'll take back control eventually._  
_Also, don't ever mention me to that human._  
_Ever._  
_Again._  
I sigh. Looks like he went back to sleep.  
Suddenly, I hear the human call to me to meet them at Grillby's. Looks like they made an agreement with Adam. I wonder what they were talking about.  
I pop into the ground to meet up with them.


	18. Grillby's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in the present, Adam, Flowey, and our protagonist go to Grillby's.

_**Protagonist's POV**_  
Once the pain is over, I find myself in front of Grillby's, with Flowey by my side.  
"welp, here it is," Adam says, "just... be weary, ok? the dogs of the royal guard aren't really good at what they do, but they're still part of the royal guard, so they'll attack you if they find out you're human. just don't give any indication as to the fact that you're human, alright?" I nod. "good. then let's go in there."  
"Hey, buddy, I've got an idea!" Flowey says, and I turn to him. "I was thinking about how I couldn't follow you up the stairs, and how I can't really follow you everywhere. So imma just do this, if it's alright with you."  
Flowey raises vines out of the ground, and wraps them around my right arm. He lifts out of the ground, his main body just above the vines.  
"There we go," Flowey says, "Wood is also kind of uncomfortable to go through. I try to avoid breaking it, you see, so I kind of have to squeeze through the planks, which, as you can imagine, is really painful. So this is a decent alternative." "Alright, then! Let's go!"  
Flowey, Adam and I enter Grillby's.  
  
Grillby's isn't that clean. There's the smell of grease in the air, Lesser Dog's playing poker with itself on the back table (and appears to be winning), and Max is sitting by himself on a bar stool, drunk and talking to Grillby, who's listening intently.  
Wait, Max is here?  
"i don't usually like grillby's," Adam says, "too greasy. but max loves it here."  
"i prefer making puns at the mtt hotel's restaurant in hotland. since i technically work there, i get free, high-quality, mettaton-shaped food."  
"hey, max is over there. c'mon, let's sit with him. he tends to forget to pay his tab, so i usually pay it for him."  
As I get closer, I can hear what Max is talking about.  
"-YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE. TO HAVE EVERYTHING RESET, OVER AND OVER... AND NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT." Grillby just nods respectfully. He's fully aware that Max is drunk and rambling, so he thinks that Max is just saying whatever comes to mind.  
Max belches, then turns to Adam. "OH! HEL-LOOOO MY BUDDY-BUD-BUD-BUDS, ADAM AND HUMAN! BUT I CAN SEE THE LITERAL 'BUD' HERE, AND THAT'S FLOWEY!"  
Max laughs the way only a drunk person would laugh. "GRILLBY! I'D LIKE TO BUY A ROUND FOR BY BEST BUDDIES HERE!" Max says drunkenly, patting Adam's shoulder, then frowns. "OH, WAIT. AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?"  
Max stares at me for a moment, frowning, before belching again and laughing. "OH! RIGHT! YOU'RE A CHILD! NO ALCOHOL FOR CHILD! I'M SORRY, CHILDEY CHILD, I KNOW YOU WANTED ALCOHOL, BUT YOU'RE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO YOUNG!"  
Max laughs again, falls asleep, and falls onto the floor, his hand (somehow) still hanging onto Adam's shoulder.  
"well... that was... strange..." Adam says, "but everyone gets weird when they're drunk. i better teleport max home, to his room. you can sit down in the meantime."  
Adam teleports, and I sit down. Grillby walks away, presumably to fill someone else's order.  
"You know what I've noticed?" Flowey says, "Max gets drunk extremely easily, while Adam can't get drunk. Those two are basically polar opposites."  
Flowey's silent for a second, thinking to himself, before speaking up again. "You know, one time, Adam and Max were building snow sculptures of themselves, right? Normally, Max is really enthusiastic about it..."  
"...but that time, he was just depressed."  
"So Adam asks Max what's wrong."  
"Max says there's nothing wrong and continues building his depressive snow lump."  
"Then that other flower shows up, and asks Max if he wants to play a 'game'. Max screams and runs away."  
"You get what I'm saying?"  
"Max's had some bad things done to him in the past that makes him depressed. Joining the royal guard would prolly make him feel better about himself, but that's not happening anytime soon." "Be nice to him, alright?" Flowey says, "With enough friends supporting him, he might feel better..."  
"...And, perhaps, it'll cure his drinking problem."  
I ask Flowey how he knows that story.  
"What?" He asks, "How do I know about that story?"  
Flowey sweats nervously. "Well..."  
"Max told me!" He says, forming an excuse to hide the real answer. "Yeah! That's it!"  
"Max and I are close friends; I can help him get some stressful things off of his chest; he still keeps secrets though. Everyone does."  
Flowey awkwardly looks away. How long does it take Adam to put Max to bed!?  
Flowey speaks back up again. "Say, what was life like..."  
"...on the surface?"  
I say 'good'.  
"Then why did you jump down here? I mean, if life was so good, then you would of had no reason to attempt suicide."  
"Because let's face it; everyone on the surface prolly tells tales about scary monsters at the bottom of a deep hole in the mountain. Nobody says anything to contradict it. If The _fall_ didn't kill you, the monsters would, right?"  
"So jumping down here would have been a death sentence, according to humans."  
"I think you're lying, human."  
Adam teleports back with crooked glasses and a cut on his cheek.  
"kid, lemme give ya some advice," Adam says, straightening his glasses, "never be around max when he wakes up after a night of drinking."  
"but if you are, make sure there are no knives around."  
"but if there are, never, and i mean _never,_ make a pun around him."  
He sits down, applying a bandage to the cut. "anyway, sorry to keep ya waiting. what do ya want to eat?"  
I think for a second, before telling him my order.  
"...say, that sounds good. flowey, ya want anything?"  
Flowey just grins. "I'm a flower, dumbass. I photosynthesize my own food; I don't ever feel hunger."  
"alright, _bud,_ " Adam says, reusing Max's joke, before turning to Grillby. "hey, grillby, we'll take two plates of spaghetti."  
Grillby nods, and leaves into the kitchen. Adam swings his legs, bored.  
"so, what were you two talkin' about while i was gone?" He asks after a moment.  
"Not much," Flowey says, lying, "mostly about the weather."  
"ya know, flowey, you're terrible at lying."  
_"I was **not** lying, Adam!!"_ "there's no weather down here."  
Flowey blushes, realizing his mistake, and doesn't respond.  
Grillby brings us our food. "ya sure you don't want anything, flowey?" Adam asks.  
"I'm sure." "alrighty then."  
Adam twirls his fork around in his food, then takes a bite. After swallowing, he says, "so what do you think of snowdin so far?" He asks me, getting serious enough to say 'you' properly.  
"i mean, here in snowdin you have good friends, good food, bad jokes... you don't really need to go further do you?"  
When I don't respond, he continues. "I... I know I can't convince you otherwise," Adam says, surprising me with correct capitalization, "But Undyne is going to kill you. The one human that got past her, Frisk... they died at Barney."  
Adam pushes his food away. "When me and my friends were first locked down here, the monsters promised to treat us as one of them."  
"That's been true for so long. Sometimes, I feel as if everyone forgets that we're human."  
"Well, everyone except for Sans, of course."  
"But they forget that these human children are the same species as me and Max.."  
"Red's been in the Ruins for so long that everyone's forgot about him. Barney, aka John, is too busy with being a monarch to ever see me or Max...'  
"And I think you can figure out what happened to Ross."  
"I've seen to many humans leave my life for good. I can't bear the thought of losing Max... or John... or Red..."  
"Human... if you have to leave Snowdin, stay away from Undyne and Sans."  
"And please. Once you get to New Home..."  
_"Do. Not. Kill. John."_  
Adam relaxes, happy to get all that of his chest. "hey, buddy," He says, going back to his lazy nature, "your food is cold and ya haven't even touched it."  
Adam gets out of his seat, and so do I. "welp," he says, stretching, "that took longer than i thought."  
"you go on ahead," He says, winking, "i got the tab."  
As I leave Grillby's, Adam calls to me. "oh, by the way, don't forget:"  
"the hanes unisex skyarmy budder throne sweatshirt is only $29.99. buy one today."  
Flowey screams internally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Alt. Choice_  
>   
>  I say 'bad'.  
> "Ah," Flowey says, "I guess that makes sense. After all, why else would you have decided to jump down here?"  
> "Because let's face it; everyone on the surface prolly tells tales about scary monsters at the bottom of a deep hole in the mountain. Nobody says anything to contradict it. If The _fall_ didn't kill you, the monsters would, right?"  
>  "So jumping down here would have been a death sentence, according to humans."  
> "I believe you, human."  
>   
>  _End of the alt. choice_  
>  _There are no alternate food choices_


	19. Shard of a Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We travel back in time a bit once more, to reveal what actually happened when Adam left to put Max to bed.

_**Adam's POV**_  
i wince, never getting used to the feeling of teleportation. it always feels worse when carrying something, such as a very heavy drunk human named max. i told him that his drinking problem was going to effect me someday. but whenever i try to get him to stop, he gets all _mad max_ on me.  
i chuckle at my own stupid pun. they're terrible, i know, but making puns help me cope with my losses.  
well, what happened to me after ross died helps with the pain, at least.  
i quickly teleport up to max's room, not willing to walk up the stairs while carrying him, and carefully put him down on his sheetless white mattress. his room is pretty bare; nothing special, just an empty room with a simple bed in the corner and a bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling.  
and that large, intimidating teleportation pad in the middle of the room, which leads god-knows-where.  
the pad is mostly grey and black, and you can clearly see where you have to stand by the scanner/decomposer in the center of the pad. it looks even more painful than magic teleporting; not many people have the rare ability to teleport, weather it be a human, a monster, or an ostrich.  
i turn off the light, and leave max's room and close the door. but instead of teleporting back to grillby's, i quickly rush into my own room (past the hanes unisex crewneck skyarmy budder throne sweatshirt that i hung up on the wall a few years ago for some reason and was too lazy to take down), and close the door. i'll make up some excuse; the kid isn't allowed in max's room, and neither is flowey, so i can just tell 'em that max keeps knives in there or something.  
as soon as i close the door, i sit in my bed. i will my soul put of my body, and it complies. normal human souls are a single color, representing a trait: red for determination, purple for perseverance, orange for bravery, yellow for justice, green for kindness, blue for integrity, or cyan for patience.  
mine used to be completely cyan, which makes sense, 'cause i'm a patient guy. but then ross's death happened.  
the tiny, oval-shaped, purple shard in the center of my soul is obvious, which is why i avoid battle; i don't want it being seen.  
"You don't have to keep doing this, you know."  
the voice doesn't startle me. i look to my left, and i see the familiar purple anomaly in the world, in the form of a human. it's the last piece of him that exists.  
"what do ya mean, bud?" i ask him.  
"I mean," ross's ghostly form says, "You don't go through this trouble of talking to me. You could just ignore me; I can survive without being social."  
"ross, it's not just for you," i answer, "it's for me, too. we'll both go crazy if we don't talk to each other once in a while. it's how soul absorbing works; the absorber feels like the absorbed person's soul is part of them physically, and thus has a need to talk to what's left of the person."  
"I know," he sighs, "I just don't want to bother you with this."  
"ross, this doesn't bother me. it comforts me to know that at least one part of you is still here."  
we're both silent for a moment, before that one familiar question rises from ross:  
"Do you still remember how it happened?"  
i remember it too well. after ross's soul shattered, and asriel fell to dust on that flower, there was one shard of his soul left, floating in the air. i decided to keep it in a box, but when i picked it up, it just sorta... disappeared, and embedded itself in my own soul. ross is only able to show himself when i'm alone, even if someone else is asleep in the same room. every day now, i talk with him at this exact time in my room; max drunkenly falling asleep just gave me a good excuse to leave.  
i just simply say "yes".  
"Adam, strange things are happening," ross says, "I'm remembering more and more things about the surface. My SOUL shard has gotten bigger ever since that kid showed up from the Ruins. And I'm starting to feel a connection with that grey flower."  
"that last one is normal for you."  
"But the connection is stronger lately; if I focus, I can see things from his own perspective."  
"Adam... I think the end is nearing. It has to do with that kid with the purple SOUL."  
"Adam, I want you to tell them not to die. Tell them to avoid anyone who would harm them, and to avoid killing John."  
"I... I also think it has to do with those two flowers. I'm not sure how, though."  
we're both silent for a second, then ross speaks up again. "Adam, you need to go. I'll be fine. Really."  
i just nod, and ross vanishes. after willing my soul back into my body, i teleport into the kitchen, and grab a knife. i need to make my story look convincing.  
i wince as the knife cuts through my cheek. i wash the knife in the sink, and put it back. for good measure, i make my glasses crooked.  
after that's done, i teleport back to grillby's.


	20. Captain Undyne attacks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in the present, our protagonist, Flowey and MK meet Undyne in a very... awkward way.

_**Protagonist's POV**_  
As soon as Flowey and I leave, Adam teleports in front of me again.  
"oh, i almost forgot," Adam says, "here's my **phone number**. just in case, ya know? if anything bad happens, or if you're just bored, just call me, 'kay?"  
Without waiting for an answer, Adam teleports away. How can he stand it!?  
I walk past the various houses in Snowdin, and past the spot where I fought Max. As soon as I enter the waterfall area, Monster Kid speaks up.  
"Yo! You've met Flowey?" MK asks, "He's kinda popular in Snowdin, 'cuz he's so nice to everyone. He's not as cool as Undyne, though!" MK walks over to me. "I'll come with you guys," he says, "My parents get paranoid when I'm travelling alone."  
"Let's go!"  
We walk past Adam's sentry station, and enter Waterfall.  
  
We walk into some extremely tall grass before I hear Max's voice.  
"H-HI, UNDYNE!" He says, "I'M HERE TO REPORT ON THAT HUMAN."  
Undyne says something I can't understand. "W-WHAT?" He asks, "D-DID I CAPTURE THEM?"  
"I'M SORRY, BUT... I FAILED. I WAS FIGHTING THEM WHEN FLOWEY POINTED OUT THAT I WAS KILLING THEM... I WAS ABOUT TO DESTROY THEIR SOUL.  
Undyne says something I also can't understand. "I KNOW, UNDYNE! I'M WORKING ON SELF CONTROL!"  
This time, Undyne speaks loud enough for me to hear. "Max, will you quiet down!?" She whispers loudly, "This is supposed to be a private meeting! What if Someone's eavesdropping!?"  
Max sounds embarrassed. "SORRY, UNDYNE. I GET CARRIED AWAY SOMETIMES. BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT SOMEONE TENDS TO GOSSIP; HE NEEDS TO WORK ON SELF CONTROL MORE THAN I DO!"  
"Just go patrol Snowdin, try to capture that human again." "RIGHT! I'M ON MY WAY, MA'AM!"  
Max walks away, and I hear Undyne relax, before she tenses up again. She walks to the edge, right over where I'm standing, and summons a red spear.  
"Is somebody there?" She asks, "If you're that human..."  
She doesn't finish her sentence as she notices me. "AHA! THERE YOU ARE, YOU LITTLE PUNK!"  
My SOUL flashes, and I see Undyne, in a guardian's armor, appear before me in the battle void. "You can get past Max..."  
"BUT YOU CAN'T GET PAST ME!"  
Her spear swings, and my SOUL turns green, and MK's soul glows green. I can't see Flowey's SOUL. "As long as you're GREEN, you CAN'T ESCAPE!"  
I select ACT, and Check.  
" Undyne - 20 ATK 999 DEF - her metal armor makes her invulnerable to attacks."  
Undyne throws simple bullet patterns at my SOUL, which I block easily.  
Monster Kid, not knowing why his hero was attacking him, selects MERCY, and Spare.  
Undyne throws random bullets at my SOUL, then gets frustrated and turns my soul purple again to throw a white spear at my SOUL, which I dodge.  
I get an idea. I select MERCY, and Run.  
  
Back out of the battle void, Undyne sees that I left the battle, and chases after me above the ledge. In the next room, I have to run across a strangely built bridge, and Undyne throws red spears at me at random.  
After a while, Undyne runs out of ledge , and I escape off of the bridge into the next room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that Someone told Undyne that the human was entering waterfall. How did Someone know, though!? He wasn't around when the human entered Waterfall...


	21. Strange Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our protagonist meets a strange man in a blue box.

Flowey, MK and I find ourselves in a strange, glitchy corridor, with vines covering part of it. Despite Flowey's protests, curiosity gets the better of me, and I push past the vines.  
As soon as I do, one of those old police boxes from the UK flashes in and out of existence in front of me, with a loud... wooshing, I guess? Eventually, it appears in existence. It's door opens, and a strange man pops out, wearing a brown suit with a blue shirt under it with a black bow tie, simple jeans, and on his head... is that a fez?  
"Ah," the man says in a British accent, "I must have overshot a little. I'm not supposed to be here. Sorry."  
He stares at me for a second, then at Flowey, with curiosity in his eyes. I look past him and, impossibly, I see an entire console room. But that can't be; the box is too small for it.  
The man, despite his own judgement, apperantly, gets out of the box, and whips out a strange... stick... thing? With a green bit on the end? He points it at Flowey and presses a button on the stick's side, the stick making a whirring sound, and then makes a whipping motion with his hand, the green bit rising a little and clamps holding the green bit opening up. He stares at it for a second. "Interesting..." he murmurs to himself.  
"Sorry," he says to me, "I'll just be on my way."  
The man gets into his impossi-box, closes the door, and it fades away. Confused, we push past the vines and continue on our journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This encounter would replace Undertale's Gaster encounter, meaning you would need a certain 'Fun' value for it to occur.)


	22. NYEH HEH HEH!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A strange skeleton appears to give our protagonists some puzzles.

When we leave into the next area, I hear a strange voice echo closer:  
_" NYEEEEEEEEEEEE **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!** "_  
Suddenly, I'm tackled to the ground from behind. "HUMAN!" The voice's owner says, "YOU HAVE ESCAPED MAX'S PUZZLES EASILY. TOO EASILY! YOU MAY HAVE PASSED A PUZZLE ADEPT, BUT NOW YOU WILL BE TESTED BY THE PUZZLE MASTER! NYEH HEH HEH!"  
"THOUGH... I SUPPOSE YOU CAN'T DO IT WHILE LAYING DOWN. LET ME HELP YOU UP!"  
The voice's owner reaches out a boney hand, and I grab it, and am pulled up. The voice's owner is a skeleton; slightly taller than me, but seemingly my age. He's wearing a ridiculous-looking white chestplate with a strange symbol in it's corner, along with red gloves, red boots, and a red scarf around his neck.  
"NICE TO MEET YOU, HUMAN!" The skeleton says, "I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"  
Papyrus strikes a quick, charismatic pose, and then shakes my hand.  
He walks over to four seeds in an indent in the wall. "THESE ARE BRIDGE SEEDS," he explains, "YOU PUT FOUR OF THEM IN A ROW IN THE WATER, AND THEY GROW INTO A WALK-ON-ABLE BRIDGE!"  
"Y-yo," MK says, sweating, "I just remembered that I have a... a thing... right now. An uber-mega-important thing. Gotta go!"  
Monster Kid quickly leaves, tripping as he does so.  
"STRANGE," Papyrus says, "HE ALWAYS ACTS LIKE THAT AROUND ME. I HAVE NO CLUE WHY."  
"ANYWAY! TRY PUTTING THE BRIDGE SEEDS ACROSS THE WATER!"  
I figure it out quickly, picking up the large seeds an plopping them in the water, the flow pushing them to the other side. after four of them are in the water, they shake, and a small drawbridge appears across the water.  
"THEY WERE ACTUALLY ENGINEERED BY MY FATHER, THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR GASTER!" Papyrus says, "THOUGH... I GUESS MY BROTHER SANS HELPED TOO."  
"THE ONLY THINGS MY YEAR-OLDER BROTHER IS NOT LAZY ABOUT IS SCIENCE-Y STUFF AND HIS HATRED FOR HUMANS."  
"Papyrus," Flowey asks, "what about your mom? Surely, she's nice to you."  
"W-WELL..." Papyrus starts.  
"ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER WHEN FRISK FELL, WHICH CAUSED SANS TO HATE HUMANS, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND NOT FRISK'S FAULT AT ALL."  
"I... I WOULD RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT."  
"ANYWAY! ONWARDS, TO VICTORY! NYEH HEH HEH!"  
My strange new friend at my side, we walk to the next area.


	23. The Greatest Awesomest Spikey Puzzle Path Of Doom™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus tests the human with a puzzle.

In the next room, there's long, wide hallway filled with spikes.  
"NYEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus says, "WELCOME TO THE FIRST TRIAL!"  
"THE GREATEST..."  
"...AWESOMEST..."  
"...SPIKEY PUZZLE PATH..."  
"...OF DOOM™!"  
"I SPENT MANY MONTHS (AND MUCH SCRAP METAL FROM DAD) ON THIS PUZZLE. AND NOW, IT'S FINALLY COMEPLETE!"  
"I DID HAVE A RIDDLE TO GO ALONG WITH IT..."  
"...BUT UNDYNE WOULDN'T LET ME PUT IT HERE WITH A RIDDLE."  
"SO YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN. GIVE IT A TRY!"  
Papyrus stands confidently at his creation. I walk through it, expecting to die...  
. . .  
Wait, is the solution seriously just keep going forewords??  
"WOWIE!" Papyrus says, proud, "YOU MUST TRUELY BE A PUZZLER!"  
"THAT'S WHAT MY UNDERNET FOLLOWERS CALL THEMSELVES. 'THE PUZZLERS.'"  
"ALL 12,586 OF THEM!"  
"FOR SOME REASON, THEY ALL TYPE IN LOWERCASE, WITH TERRIBLE SPELLING..."  
"...AND IN SOME WACKY FONT..."  
"...AND THEY ALL STARTED FOLLOWING ME LAST WEEK..."  
"...AND THEIR E-MAILS ARE ALL 'PUNMAN@NOTSANS.ORG', 'PUNMAN1@NOTSANS.ORG', 'PUNMAN2@NOTSANS.ORG', ETC..."  
Papyrus is silent for a bit before adding something.  
"OH, AND THE ONLY ONE FOLLOWING ME WHO'S E-MAIL ISN'T PUNMAN#@NOTSANS.ORG IS MONSTERKID@GMAIL.COM," He says, "HE STANDS OUT IN THE SEA OF PUNMEN AND NOTSANSES."  
"SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HIS PROFILE PICTURE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT ISN'T SANS WITH AN X DRAWN ON HIS FACE."  
The look on Flowey's face tells me that he is not amused at Papyrus's idiocy.  
The puzzle completed, we all move into the next room.


End file.
